Where was I? Oh, yes. The closet.
The problems were too numerous to count. Gene tried to list them off as we sat there, yelling over the sounds of splintering wood and tortured moans. I only listened halfway because I was trying to estimate how long we had before the door would finally give out.
"They're not wrapped that way, either," he said, unconsciously tugging at his hair. "though even if they were, with the previously-mentioned effects from the preservation..."
He just kept going, about geographic restrictions and physics and lord knows what else. I just kept staring at the door bulge. Blasted mummies.
Rather than worrying about all of the reasons that our situation was impossible I focused on what I knew from less credible and more applicable sources. Cartoons, low-budget movies, that sort of thing. Fire was the primary idea that came to mind, but of course we were still in the museum and I don't need to tell you how easily that old pile of kindling would go up with a flaming zombie rubbing against the walls. Before our strategic retreat to the storage closet Gene and I had already tried and ruled out blunt objects, bullets, and a firm denial of the abomination's existence. This didn't seem to leave many options.
I knew that mummies were generally associated with curses, like security systems for tombs. Neither Gene nor myself had been lucky enough to visit any actual Egyptian tombs in recent history, which was just as well since we wouldn't be able to un-enter it in any case. This left the possibility that it was after us for disturbing a particular artifact. Thinking quickly, I shook Gene down and searched him thoroughly - he protested entirely too little for my tastes - and found a wooden model of a boat that was clearly of Egyptian construction. I'll not repeat how or where I located it, and I would request that you not ask.
Well our intention was to simply return the item, but when we attempted to hand it to the desiccated corpse through the hole it had just torn in the door it crushed the boat into a pile of ancient toothpicks. For a moment it froze, then the hand retreated with what was left of the model. The groaning sounds doubled, and then soon stopped. The hole in the door didn't allow for a very good view, so eventually we built up the courage to go back into the hall where we found a twitching pile of wrappings and Egyptian-style beef jerky.
It seemed the mummy, enraged at his own desecration of a royal artifact, had pummeled himself to death.
Yay, good story! For some reason I feel the story is missing an explanation of who the main character and Gene are, in relation to the museum. Do they work there? Were they robbing the place? But I'm not sure how you would work that in without messing with the story's pacing. On second thought I guess the title of the story is enough. Shrug.
ReplyDeleteAlso crush->crushed.
I see what you mean. In my mind it just went without saying from the title that the narrator and gene were rich old white guys who like to sit around in a men-only club sipping brandy and talking about meeting the fierce natives of wherever. As far as being in the museum specifically... possibly they had returned from parts unknown with an artifact that they then donated? Hmm. I could probably slip that in there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAlso, typo fixed. Thanks!
Yeah, the rich-old-white-guys-sipping-brandy etc. all came through quite clearly. It was just the 'why were they in the museum' factor that I was fuzzy on.
ReplyDeleteOkay, good. I'll add something in to explain the museum thing.
ReplyDeleteHow many mummies are there in the story? Until the last sentence I was thinking there were a few, but the end made me think there was only one. If there were multiple as the story seems to say (They're not wrapped) what happened to the other mummies? Did they just stand idly by while the offending mummy pummeled himself?
ReplyDeleteAs to the "why museum" I didn't feel that was left out at all, it doesn't matter why they are there.
I was trying to decide if that would be confusing. In the end I decided on 'maybe' and so I posted it that way to find out if anyone would comment on it.
ReplyDeleteSince you have...
The idea was that there is one mummy. The times a plural is used the characters are referring to mummies as a group. In the case of the line you quoted he is talking about traditional, actual, normal mummies - which are wrapped in a way that would not allow any kind of movement.
I should probably re-word that stuff.