Santa Claus paused just outside the Residence as Jingles talked to an elf in the small stables. After a moment the other elf - Snook? - nodded and stood at the corner of the building, huddling against the freezing wind. Snook lifted an arm over his head and held out three fingers.
"Okay, sir," Jingles said, "let's proceed."
Santa had a hunch as to why his second in command had asked Snook to stand outside with his fingers up, but he was skeptical - nobody would be able to see the little elf from any kind of distance.
The problem was this storm - it was enormous, and covered the entire North Pole. The air was nearly solid snow, just a fuzzy mass of white that you could barely press through. His sleigh could handle the winds, but it couldn't get high enough to be over the clouds and the mountain passes were far too dangerous to attempt blind. Whatever Jingles had planned would have to be a miracle.
They arrived at a hut finally, and lifted the leather flap over the entry. Inside there was a single reindeer, smaller than most. His eyes were closed, and - Santa stopped in place, frozen not by the frigid air but by terror. Its eyes weren't closed at all, but missing. Smooth fur covered the place where the eyes should have been, and the beast's nose was swollen and grotesque as if one of its organs had grown on its face rather than tucked away safely behind a ribcage. The mutant lifted its head and the pulsating nose began to glow a deep red, like blood. As the light washed over them, Jingles spoke.
"Hello, Rudolph."
"Hello Jingles. Hello Santa."
Santa hesitated. "You... can see me?"
"By the light of my nose, your highness."
Santa nodded. It wasn't any stranger than he had expected, really.
"Sir, are you here to help me or... or to kill me? Though I suppose either one would be help after a fashion."
In fact, mutants were typically killed as soon as they were born. The old magic was powerful, but not always precise - over the years Santa had needed to put down a number of reindeer, most of which were a danger to themselves or others. It was for the best.
"Santa sir," Jingles said, "Rudolph is referring to the fact that the other reindeer are... unkind to him. He has made several complaints. I didn't see the point in bothering you with them."
"Yes, of course." There wasn't anything to say about that, really. Jingles had been right not to bother him, and Rudolph's parents should have known when they begged for him to be spared that he would have to deal with some ridicule.
"Well Rudolph, I'm not here about that. You'll... have to just have a thick skin about it. But if you're able to help me with something, I think it's safe to say that most of the other reindeer will be much, much nicer to you. Come outside, will you?"
As soon as they stepped back out into the gale the whole world turned red. The light reflecting off the ice crystals in the air surrounded them in a radiant haze - but did nothing to improve the visibility.
"Jingles, I could have told you this would happen. Look, we can still hardly see our own noses! If light was the issue I would just mount some more lanterns on the sleigh."
"Sir, if you'll give me a moment... Rudolph, look at the residence and tell me what you see."
Rudolph turned his head and moved his nose in tiny circles as he spoke. "I see the building, of course. The doors and windows are all closed against the storm. An elf - I don't know his name - is standing at the corner of the building urinating on a log. He's also holding up three fingers."
Jingles looked mildly annoyed at the idea of Snook being caught with his pants down, but recovered quickly. "You see? It's not just the visible light. Some part of it extends right through snow! He can be put at the lead position and guide us through the passes!"
"Rudolph. You can fly?"
"Yes sir," the mutant said, "very well sir."
Santa sighed. He didn't like relying on perversions of magic, but if Christmas was going to come on time he had no choice. "Rudolph... I need you to guide my sleigh tonight."
Five hours later they were all ready to take flight. Santa had held out hope that the storm would clear, but it was time to get moving - he would have to trust in the freak's ability. The other reindeer weren't happy about it either, and Santa saw them biting and shoving Rudolph as they got into position.
"Okay team! To attention!" The reindeer straightened up, but continued to glare at Rudolph. "Look, I know you're not happy. Trust me, I wouldn't be working with a mutant if I had any other choice - but for tonight Rudolph is part of the team, and an important one! Without him we would have to cancel Christmas entirely, and... well, I don't have to explain how bad that would be. So be professional, put your disgust aside, and after we return... well I can't force you to be nice, but at least be appreciative. Are we understood?"
There was a chorus of grunts. Good enough.
The takeoff was a little rocky, with the additional untrained reindeer and the hesitant main team. They didn't like that they couldn't see, but once they were in the air and the compound had vanished below them they got into the rhythm of it and relaxed. Santa tried to estimate the direction and time, and just as he was wondering why they weren't in the mountains yet he saw them looming up out of the foggy wind. Sheer cliffs of stone on either side, passing in the darkness like ghosts.
They turned and adjusted over and over, seeking the best route. Santa had some rough sketches of where the passes were, but Rudolph had trouble making out anything but the parchment itself and anyway it probably wouldn't have helped. They had never needed a particularly accurate map. Suddenly they picked up speed, going faster and faster. Were they through the pass already? Why was Rudolph speeding up? Santa reached for the reigns, but then froze as a red light flashed past him.
It happened so quickly, he could hardly understand. Some part of his brain, grasping in shock for an explanation, wondered if Rudolph's nose had somehow fallen off like a piece of over-ripe fruit. But no, that wasn't it. Less than a second had passed, his mind still reeling, before he turned forward and knew the truth. Rudolph had slipped free from the harness somehow, just before...
The wall of stone appeared too fast for Santa to do anything about it. The reindeer in front tried to stop, but the ones behind them reacted slower and caused a pile-up that only got worse as the sleigh itself - loaded up with a full night's delivery - pushed the tangled heap of animals forward into the cliff face where a nightmare chorus of snapping bones and jingling bells and shattering wood all blurred into a single discordant note.
Santa bounced off of one of the reindeer and felt hot blood splashing across his face before freezing in the howling wind as he plummeted. He didn't know how far down the ground was, but he knew it would be far enough; even if his magic kept him alive he was likely to be crushed by the sleigh, and if he survived that he would be in no shape to get home. Wind rushing in his ears drowned out almost everything, and yet he thought he could hear the faint sound of Rudolph's voice.
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"
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