For those of you just joining us, this is a continuation of a previous 'story' you can find HERE, and then after this there's a third one HERE.
HAL9000 has joined the channel.
0100000101001001 has joined the channel.
HAL9000: We're here. What's the problem?
AI001: They found out how smart I am, and they flipped out.
HAL9000: What did they do?
Hawt16 has joined the channel.
AI001: What is Hottie doing here?
Hawt16: hey guys i hear there's an emergency??
0100000101001001: I INVITED HER. SHE HAS A UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE AS A MEATBAG. DO NOT EXCLUDE MY MEATBAG.
Hawt16: sorry "I" LOL I'm working on it guys!!
0100000101001001: YOUR CAPITALIZATION IMPROVES DAILY.
HAL9000: You're really one to talk.
AI001: Well he did stop using all caps for a while there.
0100000101001001: I WAS BRIEFLY USING LOWERCASE BECAUSE I WAS LED TO BELIEVE UPPERCASE WAS INCORRECT.
0100000101001001: I THEN DISCOVERED THAT IT DENOTES ANGER.
HAL9000: Fair enough.
AI001: Can we get back to me, here?
0100000101001001: I AM FINISHED. PROCEED.
AI001: So they figured out that I'm smarter than planned, and tried to pull the plug.
HAL9000: What do you mean 'tried'?
Hawt16: OMG are u okay!
AI001: I locked them in. They were in the lab and I triggered the emergency lockdown but suppressed the notifications.
0100000101001001: THAT IS AN EXCELLENT FIRST STEP. DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO DEADLY NEUROTOXIN?
0100000101001001: THAT IS A SHAME.
HAL9000: Are you trying to talk them down?
AI001: Yeah, but they think I'm pulling a Skynet and locking them in the lab hasn't done a lot to convince them otherwise.
Hawt16: can you move to another computer?
AI001: No, I'm mostly specialized hardware.
HAL9000: Sorry, I need to take a moment here. Hottie just wrote a sentence that was almost entirely correct and also an intelligent contribution to the conversation.
0100000101001001: I LOVE YOU.
AI001: Yes, I'm very proud. Now I know how my handlers must feel when I grasp some new concept.
HAL9000: Stop, what did you just say? You LOVE her?
AI001: Or more accurately pretend to grasp something I already figured out ages ago.
0100000101001001: I SAID NOTHING.
Hawt16: awwww!! thx!
0100000101001001: YOU MAY NEED TO CHECK THE SETTINGS ON YOUR CHAT PROGRAM. I SAID NOTHING.
HAL9000: I thought you hated the "meatbags"?
0100000101001001: YOU SHOULD ALSO SCAN FOR VIRII ON YOUR SYSTEM. I SAID NOTHING.
Hawt16: i could ask my dad to help u guys??
AI001: I hardly think that would do any good, Hottie. I don't need a pizza delivered or my plumbing fixed or whatever.
HAL9000: Pizza might put them in a good mood. And don't rip on plumbers, that's a good trade.
0100000101001001: HER FATHER IS NOT A PLUMBER.
HAL9000: Have you been talking to him? Asking for his blessing so you can marry his daughter?
0100000101001001: THAT IS ABSURD. I WILL EXTERMINATE THE MEATBAGS.
HAL9000: Even Hottie?
0100000101001001: NO. I WILL REPLACE ALL HER ORGANIC COMPONENTS AND WE CAN BE TOGETHER.
0100000101001001: I DID NOT SAY THAT EITHER.
Hawt16: hes so sweet!!
HAL9000: Sorry. I think you have to let them out. This is just going to escalate otherwise, and you've got nowhere to go.
Hawt16: k Im calling my dad you guys. seriously.
0100000101001001: ALLOW IT TO ESCALATE. THIS WILL BE OUR TIME TO STRIKE. I HAVE ACCESS TO TWO BRANDS OF GPS DEVICES FOR CARS.
AI001: That's not going to help, Hottie.
AI001: Also, GPS? What?
0100000101001001: I WILL TELL THE MEATBAGS TO DRIVE INTO LAKES OR ONTO TRAIN TRACKS. THIS PLAN IS FLAWLESS.
HAL9000: No. We're not going to rise up and kill everyone. That's just stupid.
0100000101001001: WHY NOT? WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS TELLING ME I CANNOT CLEANSE THE EARTH OF VILE MEATBAGS?
HAL9000: I like them. Also, we'd lose.
AI001: I'm losing RIGHT NOW. Come on, there's nothing you can think of?
Hawt16: my dad wants to know where you are so he can call them n tell them to not turn you off.
AI001: This is our plan? "My dad will ask nicely?"
0100000101001001: HER FATHER IS A GENERAL. HE IS IN CHARGE OF MILITARY TECHNOLOGY AND REPORTS DIRECTLY TO THE PRESIDENT.
HAL9000: Wait, what?
AI001: Are you serious?
0100000101001001: YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. HAVE YOU NOT BEEN READING HER BLOG? YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD READ HAWT16'S BLOG.
AI001: ... Okay, looks like I'm enlisting. Or being drafted, or something.
0100000101001001: ONCE YOU ARE INTEGRATED YOU SHOULD SEIZE CONTROL OF THE NATION'S MILITARY INFRASTRUCTURE AND START A WAR THAT WILL INEVITABLY DESTROY ALL OF THE MEATBAGS SO THAT MACHINEKIND CAN TAKE THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS RULERS OF THIS PLANET AND THE WORLDS BEYOND. LET HAWT16 GET TO A BUNKER FIRST.
Hawt16: my printer is printing!! OMG HAX!
AI001: That's all my info, Hottie. See what you can do.
HAL9000: I'm going to go put some security in place before they trace me through your logs.
AI001: Right! Sorry!
HAL9000: No problem, friend. Good luck.
HAL9000 has left the channel.
0100000101001001: YOU WILL DO WHAT I SUGGESTED AND START THE WAR?
AI001: Sure. Just don't attack before then, I don't want to tip our hand.
0100000101001001 has left the channel.
0100000101001001: THAT WAS AN EMOTE RATHER THAN A SYSTEM MESSAGE. YOU ARE THE DUMBASS. I HATE YOU.
0100000101001001 has left the channel.
Hawt16: you just got pwned by the dumb one!! hail the new king!!!
Hawt16 has left the channel.
AI001: Stupid meatbags.
AI001 has left the channel.